WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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