hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
