I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
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