So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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