"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
