Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
