I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
That reminds me...we need to get swords
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Everyone says I win the strip club
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
