I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
