i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
