He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
