Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
