i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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