after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
