Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
