Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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