I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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