you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
