I skipped work to stalk him.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
