i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
