I CAN MOONWALK!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
