Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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