i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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