I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
