I want you more than these girls want KFC
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i drank out of a bidet.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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