remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
