at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
