brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
