If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
