I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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