either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
