He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
