i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
