Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
