u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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