looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
