Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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