So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
