the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
