Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
