i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
