Do you still have your period?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
