I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
