Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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