you would pick up someone in the library
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
