I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
