we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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