this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
