Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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