hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
