i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
