she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
whose ass print is on the piano?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
