You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
