Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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