I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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